Hello, and I hope this edition of Leadership Notes finds you well and cheerful. Last week' sedition prompted some wonderful dialogue about visceral and vicarious living, and as I mentioned there, I've been inspired by a couple of speakers and a theatre experience in recent weeks.

The theatre experience was a 'show' at the PuSH Festival here in Vancouver, http://pushfestival.ca/  . It was called "The Human Library" and was presented at the main Vancouver Public Library. The idea was simple and profound; you go to a counter at the library and peruse a stack of biographies in looseleaf binders, and choose one, then 'checkout' the live person from the biography for 20 minutes. They then tell you their story. I 'checked out' a person who's biography title was "Funeral Director by Day, Comedian by Night" and then another called, "Born Again Christian". We sat 'knee to knee' for 20 minutes and they told me their 'story'. The Funeral Director/Comedian was wonderful, telling me about her need to balance the deep sadness she experienced every day with making people laugh. It was the Born Again Christian that surprised me the most and got me thinking about leadership.

You see, I have my own story about 'Christians' especially as I am one! My experience is that there are some 'Christians' who wrap their judgements about others, or wrap their sexism, homophobia or racism in a particular interpretation of the tradition, and then call themselves 'Born Again'. The title of the biography was therefore a trigger for me. As I sat down 'knee to knee' with this person, I was all set for a debate, if not argument! But, I realized, that's not what I'd do with a book, I'd read it! And so I consciously chose to listen to the story, before I challenged it or the person.

I'm so glad I did! The story was at times sad and painful, and at others inspiring and even fun. I found I had much more in common with the person than the title of her biography first suggested to me. And it was my focus on listening to the story that helped me get to that common ground. We didn't solve the issues of sexism, homophobia and racism, but by connecting at a deeper, person to person, as opposed to ideology to ideology level, we might find a way to journey into those darker waters together.

So how does this help us as leaders? I wonder if the metaphor of a library book might be helpful for us as leaders working with people who we don't 'like', or who are behaving in ways that we find challenging? Sitting down with a person who we find challenging might be easier if we think to ourselves I'm borrowing this book from the library to hear the story. I'm not  'buying' the  book  right now, but I am going to read it. And then, like reading a book, I have to read/hear what the author has to say, and in doing so we might find some common ground that will help move is into darker waters together.

May this week be an opportunity for each of us to read/another person's story.

Good afternoon and I hope this edition of Leadership Notes finds you well. From the "you never know what'll happen" file, I was recently facilitating a conversation about "Leadership Brand". Our discussion was focused on building and enhancing what we might call the 'brand" of a particular leader. I've built a process to begin the dialogue for a leader or leaders so that they can recognize and build what it is that they are good at and what people count on us for. This was work I began working with the Canadian National Young Leaders conference in Saskatoon last May, and I really enjoy the process and the conversations that surface.

One of the questions that I ask folks to think about, among a number, is "what haunts you?" I was introduced to this question some years ago at the Whidbey Institute's Powers of Leadership program, and it has frankly haunted me since. I invite you to have a think about your answer, before you go any farther, and in the best tradition of a good question, it is ambiguous, so just answer it the way you wish. What haunts you?

I've heard answers in the past like, 'I'm haunted by a divorce', 'I'm haunted by a lost opportunity', 'I'm haunted by a choice I didn't make,' and a number of similar answers. The answers more often than not, help us get clear about what is vital for us, what is very important for us in the past, and to begin to explore the implications of the past on our present and futures.

This particular session was going very well, and during the section where the participants were answering "What haunts you?" one guy was quieter than usual. I didn't think too much about it, as the questions in this section often cover the session with silence as people reflect for themselves. Even after the small group dialogues that followed though, I noticed he was still quiet. (I always say that people can 'pass' on answering this question in a group). I thought little of it, and then we went into a break. He came up to the front of the room, and said, "I just wanted you to know that I was doing the exercise, I just didn't want to share what haunts me with the others." Handing me a piece of paper he said “here it is.” On the paper were the words, "haunt" and "Yugoslavia." I was stunned.

For those of you not familiar the story that word represents for Canadians, here is a link to a story from late last year from the Globe and Mail talking about a recent documentary film about what happened to the former Yugoslavia and to the Canadian Peacekeepers who went there in 1992. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/television/a-tale-of-sarajevo-so-grim-its-must-see/article15318447/

The participant in this session had been there.

I was reminded that we don't know the depth of the stories of the people with whom we work. In the words of Jean Vanier, "All of us have challenges, some of us more visible challenges than others." It behooves us therefore to know that we are all haunted by something in our past, and for some, that haunting is very, very close to us every moment of every day. We can bring ourselves to work, we can leave our "stuff" at home, but eventually we need to deal with that which haunts us. My wish for all of us is to be aware of that which haunts us, and to bring it into the light.

And if you know of a veteran who is haunted and the haunting is damaging him or her, I might recommend this  very important project out of UBC run by my friend Dr. Marv Westwood. https://startanevolution.ubc.ca/successstories/veterans-transition-program/

Good morning from an overcast, but somehow spring like Vancouver. I drove yesterday with top down on the convertible, heat full on, and a scarf around my neck but the top was down! The seasons are slowly turning, rest assured.

I heard a couple of great talks on the weekend, and I’ll be sharing reflections from them and an amazing theatre show I saw on Sunday afternoon in the coming weeks of Leadership Notes. One of the talks was by The Dean of the Episcopal Diocese of Seattle, The Very Rev Steve Thomason. A former physician from Arkansas, Steve spoke very eloquently.  http://www.cathedral.vancouver.bc.ca/2014/01/20/sermon-by-the-very-rev-steve-thomason-jan-19-2014/ . What struck me deeply was his question, are you living your life vicariously or viscerally? So for example, do I go outside and play football, or do I watch it on TV? Do I have deep conversations with my partner, or do I watch others have deep(?) conversations on reality TV programs?

And then I got to thinking about how we learn and teach leadership? So are the courses I take and teach for example mostly about someone at the front of the room telling war stories about what it’s like to lead and manage (vicarious learning) or are the courses I take and teach filled with opportunities to practice and rehearse actually leading and managing (visceral learning). Or how about actually leading and managing? Is most of my management time spent attached to my computer, in conversation via email and reading/writing reports (vicarious managing) or am I engaged, eye to eye, knee to knee, even on Skype (or related product) asking questions, challenging the status quo, with the people I report to and who report to me, (visceral managing)? I know I am at my best as a leader and manager when I am viscerally engaged.

May this week, and all the weeks, be about visceral leading and managing.

Happy New Year one and all! I do hope you enjoyed the Winter Break (or Summer Break for those south of the equator!) North America is largely under a very cold series of weather systems as I write, and a friend posted this brilliant piece from one of Canada’s funniest comedians, Rick Mercer. (Mercer has a weekly ½ hour show here that always includes a piece known as Rick’s Rant, this is this week’s rant) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EQdXyKiFY4&feature=share

What struck me as I watched and chuckled was the idea of hysteria and drama about the weather. Snow flurries as catastrophic crisis?! And I think we are living in a time when many of us move from one apparently “catastrophic” crisis after another. So for example, as I write the Canadian dollar is trading at .93 cents US, the lowest it’s been in some three years. You’d think, listening to the tone of the news reporters this morning that this interesting at best piece of economic news was to be regarded as a harbinger of doom and disaster! My concern here is that there are any number of real and important dangers that befall us individually and collectively; physical and mental illnesses, natural and human caused disasters, criminal and political rape and murder, and heart breaks and deaths of loved ones that are so sad, that you’re not sure you can go on. Those are real dramas, those are times of great sadness and pain. And to treat a snow storm, or a currency fluctuation with the same tone and import seems to me to be disrespectful to the times of great sadness that occur in the real world.

And as leaders, I think we need to be able to discern the difference between a minor blip, and small frustration and a major problem, a major catastrophic event. And we need then to model behaviour appropriate to the situation. Skills we all know, but perhaps practice less often than we might, include, patience, empathy (remembering that there is a difference between someone delayed at an airport and a plane skidding off a runway with a loved one aboard),  and a quiet calmness both inside and out, will go a long way to help your team and organization weather frustrations, problems and catastrophes that much more effectively.

May this week find time for each of us to discern distinction between the proverbial mole hills and mountains in our lives.