Good afternoon from an overcast and windy Vancouver. I count myself fortunate though not to be covered in snow and cold, like so much of the continent. Spring is coming, really, Spring is coming!
I’ve been reflecting today how really strong our ego’s can be. By ego I mean that part of us that thrives on being praised, acknowledged, given pats on the back and generally admired. Some of us have quite powerful egos, (like me) and others are blessed with different gifts! One of the challenges for us as leaders is to navigate the stormy waters between healthy self-esteem, and a Gollum like ego that hungers after attention. (I wrote back in November about that Gollum part of us http://www.alisdairsmith.com/index.php/leadership-notes/78-gollums-and-intention )
Once again I am reminded that we do not clear our egos/Gollums aside as we mature and grow, rather we can find a way to respect and honour them, to bring them into our lives, but not let them run our lives. And then, every now and then, something will trigger their return to the fore. What is important is to recognize that they have returned, and not to lose control of our actions and behaviours. And this can be a very difficult thing to do in a leadership position, when the ‘slings and arrows’ are flying in every direction, and the situation in which we find ourselves is precarious or frustrating. I was thinking of this kind of thing when reminded the other day of the sad ‘meltdown’ of Kony2012 film maker Jason Russell after very public criticism of the Kony2012 story and video.
If you find that your Gollum, or your frustration has been triggered, here are a couple of simple steps to help alleviate the situation and to help ensure that you do not hurt anyone, including yourself.
1. Work out. Go for a run/walk, lift some weights, do yoga, whatever it is that gets oxygen to your brain. Your brain knows that your ego is there, and with oxygenated blood flowing, it will more likely be able to help calm the ego down a little and get some perspective.
2. Remember, your ego is telling you a story. And it’s only a true story if you believe it to be true. During a dark time in my life, I learned to use a breathing exercise with a sort of mantra. Breathing in and out I would focus on my breath and say to myself, breathe in reality, breathe out fantasy. I’d do this a few times and find myself getting clearer that my ego was a great story teller, but would often be making assumptions about what other people were doing or thought.
We all have our moments. We have good moments and mad moments, but those moments do not make up the whole day.
May this week give us time to honour our ego/gollums, again.