Good morning from a crisp and beautiful day in Vancouver, I hope you are able to enjoy at least a few moments of the outside world today. I was honoured to hear my friend Dixie Black speak on Sunday morning, http://www.cathedral.vancouver.bc.ca/2013/10/28/sermon-by-the-rev-dixie-black-october-27-2013/ . Dixie is a clinical counsellor who does amazing work with individuals and couples. Her reflection explores, among other things, ‘intention’.
I have wrestled for some time with the power of my ego. I sometimes refer to him as my 14 year old self, and boy oh boy, can he wreak havoc! I recognize that he can be very much like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings movies http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/smeagol-gollum/images/14076899/title/gollum-smeagol-screencap That part of me can latch on to things and people who I find “precious”. And he is also the part of me that can step into the midst of a conference going bad and improvise to bring things back on course, raise the energy level and get people talking and engaged about the subjects at hand. I sometimes laugh with myself that I can do that because my 14 year old self is too dim to know how outrageous it is to stand in front of 100 people and have 3 hours to fill with little or no idea what I’ll be doing 20 minutes from now! I know though that that part of me is a great gift.
Dixie, using spiritual language and referencing the great thinker Richard Rohr https://cac.org/ , gave me a great insight on Sunday. Full health is not in the absence of our dark side, it is found in the turning of the dark side to our own individual and collective favour. What a great reminder to us as leaders; we are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but rather than trying to hide from our Gollums, what does it look like to use them to our benefit and the benefit of our organization. So, I have an ego the size of a Mack truck, and I can use that part of me to step into group situations with confidence and humour. Sure, my Gollum is doing a little dance inside of me saying “they like me, they really like me”, but the bigger and more important work of collaboration, dialogue and reflection for and in the group is what is actually happening. I’ve found a way to take the dark side of my Gollum and turn it to individual and collective favour, by being really clear with myself about my intention. Yes my Gollum is getting praise, which he craves, but my deeper intention is to create a safe and healthy place for the group to work in. And it is that upon which I focus my intention. I wonder what your “Gollum” is, and how might you turn his/her cravings towards the individual and collective good?
May this week be one of such discovery for each of us.