Good afternoon, from a cold but sunny Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. There really is nothing lke a Canadian prairie sunny, winter day. I’m here teaching, and working on a couple of projects between classes.
I’ve found myself working recently mediating conflicts, guised often as “teambuilding” workshops. A colleague from church land, The Rev. Dixie Black was preaching a couple of weeks ago about being more ‘awake.’ Dixie is, besides being a great spiritual director, a psychologist with a thriving practice.  One facet of being more ‘awake’ according to Dixie really struck a chord with me, given the work on conflict I’ve been doing.  She explained that being awake meant disconnecting with my own emotional noise, saying, “I have feelings of anger, grief, sadness, contentment, joy and love but I am not those feelings.  I allow myself to feel whatever I feel and remember that I am so much more than those feelings.”
One of the challenges we face as leaders, especially when faced with conflict, is to be awake and attentive to our emotional noise. The next time your nemesis at the office, or the partner who you don’t really get along with, or whomever frustrates you the most in your work, says something that triggers you, stop and remember, I can feel whatever I want, but I am so much more than those feelings. Or, ask yourself, I may fell angry right now, but what are we trying to do here, what is the bigger picture we’re working towards. We are not bound by the emotion driven roles we have chosen; we are so much more than that. By being more awake to our emotional noise we can make real differences in resolving conflicts, and making our workplaces better places.