Leadership Notes -- Thoughts on Leading People and Making a Difference in Organizations
Word count this issue: 588
Estimated reading time: 3:45 minutes
Good morning from an overcast Gibsons BC. My forthcoming book, 5 Thrives for the Digital Revolution https://www.facebook.com/5thrives?fref=ts, explores the implications for all of us as the world changes. A vital ‘thrive’, a vital competency, my research points to is increasing our ability to be ‘Others Aware’, that is to place ourselves in the shoes of other people.
A fundamental challenge for us, especially living in the West, is the “Legend of the Lone Person.” Hollywood is constantly telling and retelling the “Legend of the Lone Person.” Westerns in the 40’s and 50’s told and retold how one (usually) man saved the town. Gritty crime dramas in the 60’s and 70’s told and retold how one (usually) man stood against the system. Even as Luke Skywalker uses “The Force”, (a great collective power), it is still he as a lone person who destroys the death star. Trinity and Morpheus wait for ‘The One’ they find in Neo Anderson. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is part of a group, but we the audience know who calls the shots. Salt is completely on her own, through out the film of the same name. Much beloved Harry Potter stands alone against Voldemort.
The Legend of the Lone Person though is not actually what happens, as much as we might like to think. The thinker, writer and education activist Parker Palmer writes "…scholars now understand that knowing is a profoundly communal act. Nothing could possibly be known by the solitary self, since the self is inherently communal in nature.".
Others Awareness is absolutely vital. The day of the Lone Person is now over. The day of the Collaborative Person is now upon us.
Here in Canada this week, we are hearing the report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. http://aptn.ca/news/2015/06/02/read-94-recommendations/ We have a great opportunity as Canadians, all of us, to move forward together based on “Others Awareness”.
In the organizations we lead, Others Awareness is as important. We need, for example to increase our interpersonal literacy. In conflict situations, this is especially true.The healthiest relationships include conflict, but managed, honoured and respected conflict.
I was sitting in an airport lounge recently and the TV was tuned to a news channel. The show had two pundits, one right wing and the other left wing, shouting at each other about various points around taxation, elections and various other issues. Ironically, I had spent the previous two days working with a great group of managers., talking about the importance of strong relationships between people.
If television is any reflection at all of our culture, it seems that the way people are to behave in conflict is to win at any cost, to combat, to fight, to argue, to keep harping on a position until by attrition, volume or exhaustion, a winner is declared. These “world wrestling federation” models of relationships are not accurate, nor healthy models for us to use.
Engaging in conflict is one of the key ways that we learn from each other. And the key to such learning is humility; approaching a conflict with a position, fair enough, but recognizing in most situations, I may not have all the answers, and there may be more here for me to learn.
May this week be filled with such learning opportunities for each of us.