I was reminded this morning of a great parable, usually attributed to one of the North American First Nations. I first came upon it in Olivia McIvor’s great book “Turning Compassion into Action”  http://store.fairwinds-press.com/do/ppa/30/Turning_Compassion_Into_Action_a_movement_towards_responsibility_by_Olivia_McIvor.html

The parable goes like this…

A grandfather says to his grandson, “I feel as though I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is angry and hurtful and the other wolf is loving and compassionate.”

The grandson thought for a moment and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight?”

The grandfather said quietly, “the one that I feed.”

There is a sense in some circles that the loving and compassionate wolf in each of us is the weaker one. People who are loving and compassionate are often portrayed in our stories as “nice” but not the one you count on in a fight. Or they are portrayed as martyred so that the angry and hurtful wolf can revenge them. My experience, and I note a growing body of evidence from places like Stanford, http://ccare.stanford.edu/tag/ccare/   that the loving and compassionate wolf is definitely the stronger and actually the one who makes a difference in organizations and communities. The key factor is that  love and compassion actually hold people accountable.  The compassionate wolf demands honesty, commitment and team work of herself and others. It is the angry and hurtful wolf in us that most often shies away from conflict and accountability (unless is can see a chance for swift and hurtful victory) and so that wolf has us take on work that others have left aside, or say they ‘can’t do’, or ‘don’t know’. And then the angry and hurtful wolf complains about how bad their team is. The loving and compassionate wolf knows how powerful learning and empowerment can be and holds his/her team to that learning and empowering ethic. In fact, the compassionate wolf in each of us can really make others uncomfortable in the moment. In the medium and longer term of course, that same wolf gives us and our team strength and courage.

May this week be one of feeding the loving and compassionate wolf in each of us.