Good afternoon from an Air Canada flight to Montreal, enroute to Gander Newfoundland, where I'll be working with a group of senior managers from credit unions. I am looking forward to the work.
Over the past number of weeks we've been going through a series of attributes about leadership that grew out of my trip to Australia. We've explored: presence, Present moment=wonderful moment, slowing down, attention and listening, honoring self, others and place, gratitude, compassion and solitude. This week, we'll look and the last, but by no means the least important attribute, solitude.
Traveling on my own meant I was alone for most of the trip, but solitude was what I was actually seeking. Solitude is being present and comfortable with oneself, and the thoughts that float by and through one's mind. The only way to experience solitude, in my experience, is to be alone and silent, in silence. I drove for example from Melbourne to Broken Hill, a drive of 9.5 hours, and turned the radio off as I left the outskirts of Melbourne. I was driving in silence, with only my thoughts as company for over 9 hours. I loved the journey! And to be sure, my thoughts were not always entertaining; guilt, anger, and confusion were more common than forgiveness, peace and clarity. And I learned that they were ok. I need not dwell on them. They were part of the path towards forgiveness, peace and clarity. Most often though, I found myself being angry for example about the past, or being confused about the future, both of which I had no control over. They were at best fantasies, and so a common mantra for myself on the drive was "breathe in reality, breathe out fantasy". Asking myself, what is going on right here and right now? How can I respond to the right here, right now?
Now I know that for some of us, the idea of spending 9 hours with oneself might be daunting. I have come upon a series of questions that demand solitude for their answers, and I invite you to find some time this week to explore them for yourself. They are from the book Breaking the Leadership Mold" by Rosie Steeves that a friend gave me a copy of this past week. In it Dr. Steeves offers the following reflective questions for leaders:
1. What does leadership mean to you? What qualities do you believe a leader should possess?
2. Where are you on the command and control vs. Collaborative continuum, and what does that tell you about your yourself and your leadership beliefs
3. To what extent do your personal paradigms and mental models hold you back from being an effective leader? How might you overcome this?
4. What makes some people better leaders than others and what are the implications of this for you?
5. When does leadership happen for you? When does it appear to happen for others in your organization?
6. Does a leader need power? How can a leader avoid being corrupted by power?
7. How might you lead that others may follow? How would you like your relationship to be with those with whom you lead?
8. What traits must you demonstrate to build effective teams?
9. For you, what is the most important thing about leadership? How might this differ for others in your organization?
May we each find time for solitude to address these questions, and the questions of our lives.