Good afternoon fellow leaders and influencers, I hope this note finds you well.
I’ve had the great pleasure of listening to Mary Beth O’Neill’s wonderful book, Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart in my recent travels. And may I just say how much I appreciate audio books!
O’Neill’s work is fundamental, and I remember reading it a few years ago. As is the way of these things, the teacher appears when the student is ready, and while I did enjoy it the first time, this most recent time through has been very inspirational for me. I’ve been struck especially by her work with the phrase “signature presence”. “Signature presence is moving through…moments in a way unique to you, making the most of your own strengths, interests and eccentricities.”
I love this idea. And I’ve seen it at work, as I think about it, countless times with leaders of all shapes and sizes. One colleague and friend has signature presence of a firm had on the tiller; nothing seems to faze him, there is a inexorable forward movement emanating from him, even if we are moving at a snail’s pace, we are moving forward. What has struck me here, based on some concurrent work, is the criticism, ‘well if I’m a loud, aggressive and belligerent leader, that’s just my “signature presence” and so take it or leave it.’
Now, I don’t believe this is what O’Neill has in mind; ‘signature presence’ is not necessarily the same as my default. Nor is it an excuse for inappropriate behaviour. Rather signature presence is something that we uncover from within ourselves. My strength as direct and honest is not the same as my shouting at people to get the work done. My listening attentively is not the same as not being able to make a decision. My sense of humour is not the same as being “flighty.”
Signature presence then is a discovered presence, a sense that I know myself, at least a little. I know my strengths, and can use them to navigate through times of ambiguity, major challenges, others disapproval and my own stress on a more even keel. I may fall off a little, but I know it and know that when it happens I can return quite quickly to my balanced signature presence.
We can build our signature presence by working on four areas. The first, relationship, is about being clear with myself and the other person what this relationship is about; we may be friends for example outside of work, but here at work, you are my boss, and I respect the fact that you have responsibilities here and now given that. Secondly is related, our communications need to be clear, honest and direct; this means that we set boundaries with each other, and we provide feedback that is directive and supportive. Thirdly, we need to focus as best we can on the present moment; what is occurring right here and right now? What you did or did not do to me last week is irrelevant, what my monkey mind may be chattering at me is irrelevant, let’s get focused on the here and now. And the fourth element is the one I alluded to above, an accurate self-knowledge and sense of self worth. This self knowledge is neither inflated nor clothed in false humility. It rather knows that I am good at some things, really good in fact, and in others, I will struggle, and rather than beating my self up about the latter, nor inappropriately inflating the former, I leverage my strengths and find ways of mitigating my weaknesses.
May this week find each of us growing our own signature presence!