I enjoyed a warm and chuckle filled dinner with an old friend last night. (We worked together 30 years ago!)  In part of the wide ranging conversation, we touched on the importance of ‘personal inventory’. It is vital for us all to do some “personal inventory”, exploring why we behave in certain ways. For example, I know that there are times when a deep need for acknowledgement and appreciation drives me to seek affirmation and metaphoric and literal applause. As I mature and hopefully gain some wisdom I have learned to watch for and then check this kind of behavior. And I know that it still seeps through though, and I have learned to be ‘ok’ with it, and to move forward, having learned another lesson.

As leaders, we all need to take the time periodically to do that inventory on ourselves.

Sadly however, most of our personal inventory time is actually invested in doing inventory on other people, most often when they are not even around! We ask ourselves something like; ‘why on earth did they do that?’, and then promptly start the guessing game of answering the question for ourselves. Or, perhaps we find someone else to triangle into the conversation, and ask them, “why on earth did ‘so and so’ do that?” We then begin the very entertaining process of guessing the causes of ‘so and so’s’ behavior.  

As entertaining as the process of doing inventory on other people can be, it almost invariably leads us to incorrect answers, assumptions and actions. When we do inventory on other people we can at best, guess, and more often than not, make prejudicial and judgment laden assumptions.

Next time you find yourself asking “why on earth did ‘so and so’ do ‘xyz’?” stop yourself and find a way to ask them from a place of curiosity.

And may this week, we each may find some time to do some inventory on ourselves.