Good afternoon and I hope that today brings you a deep sense of accomplishment in at least one aspect of your life.

I was speaking to a friend who is experiencing a tough time at the moment, and in the conversation recalled a wonderful and profound learning moment. From a leadership perspective and a personal one, there are times when we must let people get on with their own journey, we have to let them do what they have to do, even if it causes them and even us pain and struggle. Each of us, as a friend of mine says, is entitled to our own pain.

The learning moment happened a couple of years ago, but only really became clear in the past few days. While on a family vacation in the Aegean Sea, my dearest friend and I would often go for a run along the quay, across the sea shore and up into the hills. To this day, we cannot believe how high into those hills we would run in quite warm weather. As we returned to sea level, across the shore and to the quay again to complete the run we decided on the last day that we would just keep running off the end of the quay and into the sea. We hemmed and hawed for a couple of weeks, and finally on the last day, as we rounded the last corner onto the quay, my friend said to me, “I’m going for it!” Not to be out done, I said, “Let’s do it!” And so for that last 500 meters or so we pushed ourselves, feet pounding, hearts racing (we’d already done about 10 km), we literally ran full speed off the end of the quay, yelling as we did and hit the very cold water, woooosh! It was an amazing experience, full of laughter, exhilaration, pride, and companionship.

I started up the rocks, and slipped a couple of times on the seaweed, and then pulled myself, obviously soaking wet onto the concrete quay. I turned around and saw my friend slipping herself as she grasped for purchase on the rocks. I started down and held my hand out. Without looking at me she said, “I’ll do this myself!”

Now at the time, I admit my nose was a little out of joint for a second or two, but I realized that this was important for them, and was not about me. It was only very recently that I realized the very best support I could be was to simply be present, even to witness, and honour that my friend had accomplished something very cool, on their own terms. Sometimes the best leader or friend we can be, is to let those closest to us make their own way, and honour and be proud of their journey.
May you find a way to give someone room to make their own way, on their own terms this week.